Want your fascinating read for the week? Check out this article about a new categorized aged group entitled "Emerging Adults" (18-29 year olds delaying their entry into adult hood). If you have more time (I wish I did), check out the book that inspired the article.
I will voluntarily say that I am one of these emerging adults. I am 24 next month and still live in my parents house as I attend grad school and see no prospects of moving out in the near future nor do I really feel inspired to. I had been observing this trend for about a year now when I realized all of my friends from high school all returned home after college to live with their parents again and none of us seemed too worried. I attributed this to two factors: First, an overabundance of undergraduate graduates and not enough jobs to appease this market, but also I argue that this staying immature longer (or emerging) is due to a higher gestation period where the young stay with the parents. We know that the humans have the longest gestation period of any species on earth, and thus we have the most successful species. Does it not seem logical that a longer gestation period in my generation will amount to a relatively more successful generation in coming decades? (Of course I make this point in jest).
Perhaps most shocking in the article is the highlighting of this quote, "In statistical analysis, there was no relationship between exposure to religious training in childhood and any aspect of their religious beliefs as emerging adults — not to the current classification as agnostic/atheist, deist, liberal believer, or conservative believer; not to their current attendance at religious services; or the importance of religious beliefs, or the importance of religion in their everyday lives; not the their belief that God or a higher power guides their lives or to the certainty of their religious beliefs in emerging adulthood."...Yikes....
While I have yet to read the book, I can assure you that it's material like this that will help clear up some of the confusion of the current generation gap we are witnessing in our movement (and which I am sure will be in conflict/brought up constantly this weekend at the forum)....
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Emerging Adults or Lazy Post-Teenagers?
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9 comments:
My husband and I attend a fairly large church and are constantly amazed at how little our good-looking, educated, promising young singles date each other. They all like to hang out but don't seem to feel any urgency to "couple up". What's up with that? Many of them in their twenties show no desire to get married. (As we can see) Are they waiting for perfection? Please enlighten me.
This is a question for the ages Ellie. I really don't know, and I will put myself in that category of single guy who likes to hang out but does very little "pursuing" of the opposing gender.
It seems like in the old days, guys and girls grew up in the same youth group and got married with the person they grew up with at a relatively young age and lived a barbie and Ken lifestyle (such a perfect set up that only God could cause such matches made in heaven). I am not mocking it in any way, and I understand this is a gross exaggeration, but I am just pointing out that the couples of my generation rarely have such perfect set ups.
I will offer this...With it taking us longer to grow up, and to find a job and then a place to live independently, we understand this causes many limits on our ability to pursue. We don't want to go get married thinking we may be able to barely float financially, end up with child 9 months after marriage, and suddenly find ourselves having to buy a house and a bunch of diapers and likewise tons of debt that will haunt us the rest of our lives.
This is at least the thinking in my head, and thus know tempting a relationship could tempt many many years of embarrassment, dependence on parents well into our 30's and an ocean of debt. So I naturally just stay away from girls in general (or at least until a girl sweeps me off my feet and causes me to completely contradict everything I said in this post).
I think Joel is right...I am in that single twenties guy not really doing a ton of pursuing...
I think our generation's view on attaining life goals is a bit different...
I work full time for a Christian Nonprofit...have a B.A. in English...and still live with my parents...and really don't have a big motive to move out or a driving desire to find THE ONE...for a few good reasons other than those listed by Joel:
1. My friends have been shown what makes marriages not work...so we tend to scrutinize a bit more over whether we are ready for such a big step...and also if it's something we even want...I spend most of my time on the road or in the office for work...i've slept in my own bed a grand total of two nights in the past two weeks...not exactly the lifestyle for a new husband...but if i slow down i won't be as effective on my job...
2. We also tend to not believe in the "Match Made in Heaven"...Love is a choice you make...
3. We view being single as an opportunity to do cool stuff and really dedicate our lives to God in ways that we couldn't otherwise...
I mean it's a definitely a cultural shift...but not necessarily for the bad...
4. Also consider that the Baby Boomers are hanging on to their jobs in a tight market...there's a lot more of them than us...not a lot of jobs laying around to support a family on
All pertinent points.
I do wonder (at the risk of sounding uncharitable - & these remarks are not aimed at anyone who has posted) if this generation is clinging to a certain college-level immaturity by getting their higher education, but being content to live off Mom & Dad while also feeling superior to the average Ap believer, voicing their superior, knowledgeable opinions on how the world should work, et al.
At some point - inferior job market & all - you've gotta be willing to tackle the world head-on by leaving the cocoon of academia & home. That's what changes others.
Just some observations. Feel free to disagree.
Aha...and I think staton hinted at the point Kent...we see what living on our own and facing the world looks like, and I think in a way we are standing in protest against what being independent looks like...
If facing the world means jobs, family obligations, financial stress, and no free time, and no more learning, and much responsibilities, we simply reject it.
If it's the challenge we need to face of learning to walk on our own, we simply throw in the towel and forfeit our right to such independence for the time being...I ask that perhaps you would admit, that for us to move out and move on and face the challenge, there must be some bait that would lure us out of our apathy...and the bait just isn't appetizing enough...if that means looking irresponsible and immature to older generations from older generations so be it (i know you are not implying this, but I think it is safe to say this is one of the foremost criticisms of the older generation of us emerging adults)....
Great point though Kent...interested in a rebuttal (as someone who has stayed in your abode on two separate occasions, I could never take offense.)
Ok kdc,
point taken...I guess I am asking, as Joel alluded to, "What's the rush?...to get out there and let the older generation beat me down?
I pay my bills, give my parents some rent, own some property, and have a full time job, while taking some classes...
I do enjoy the whole college scene...and wish for it again to some degree...
I feel like I (and maybe a lot of my friends) don't value the same life "endings" as kdc's gen...I am assuming this is kent curry...i am a big fan...
I don't feel any motivation to start a family...I work harder than most people I know...actively promote and propogate my faith...expand my mind...am into a lot of fun things, mtn biking, climbing, surfing (when i get the chance)...
What's the urgency of moving on?
I just don't see it...
I forgot to address the superiority in Ap thing...
For myself, I do feel a bit of a disconnect when I go to UPCI events...It feels like that a lot of the issues being addressed are in time warp...
I work for a an abortion alternative ministry...
so I was a bit puzzled when the "current events" teaching at the youth camp I took the kids in my youth group to and voluntarily worked at was 1.5 hours on the evils of the Twilight series...
I think most people would find that a bit bizarre...
1.1 million abortions in the US last year...18% of all evangelical girls have abortions
that's over 1600 of the girls at youth congress this past summer...
and we're talking about Twilight being evil for 1.5 hr?
That's a microcosm of what I feel is the disconnect between me (and by extension my generation) and the current UPCI Hierarchy...I was at GC this year...I kind of was hoping to be inspired and given some hope...Didn't happen. Apparently they thought the Apostolic Identity mantra didn't get overkilled at Youth Congress...
I walked into the arena during Youth Day...I heard Calvin Jean say something about covering sin with Covergirl...thought about whether or not this was good use of my time...decided it wasn't...and left to go back to working at the booth i was at in the exhibit hall...
Really? You've got the ear of that many people and that's all you've got to say?
The thing that bothers me is that that's really all that seemed to be said...over and over again...don't let down the looks thing! I may have just happened in at all the wrong times...
But outside of work related things I don't think I'll go back
I've only got so many days on earth...why go listen to that?...surely we've got much more to say and give to our hurting world than what was said there...and i'm a bit miffed I paid to hear it...
"What's the urgency of moving on?"
• If it’s the false urgency to get married, et al, I understand. If it’s the real urgency to mature and conquer, I don’t.
• It's not the lack of urgency to move on (into full adulthood) that troubles me, it’s the use of real world circumstances to justify aimlessness.
• It’s the lack of post-college ambition to achieve something new for the kingdom. Many 20somethings graduate college, return to the womb, then default to a high school paradigm instead of creating a new one. You’ve got energy and time (if you’re barely working) so why aren’t the geysers of creativity exploding into something noticeable and new instead of just record scores achieved on video games?
• 20somethings (as a group) don’t seem to be engaging the culture (outside of FaceBook). They’re pouting that NAYC doesn’t feed and exhilarate them like it did when they were 16. (This is unrelated to Stanton’s spot-on comments about Youth Camp, etc above.)
• It’s like they’re too scared to leave their high school comfort zone (& this is the ones brave enough to go away to college. Most Aps are still too timorous to do anything but commute to a secular college.).
• Hyphen is now alive & desperate for 20something volunteers. Campus Ministry is desperate for students and graduates to assist and start ministries. The Forum just finished it’s 5th annual conference (for 20somethings) yet for all 5 years we’ve heard 20somethings who claim to want something different—until it’s provided, then . . . it’s not convenient . . . there’s a church/state Lady’s Retreat the same weekend . . . it’s not exactly what they’re seeking . . . they don’t know if they’ll know anyone there . . . they don’t want to drive X hours alone. Which is what teenagers say, right?
• There’s way too much whining about an unfair world (& “no ministries for me”) and far too little urgency in living the Spiritual Pioneer’s life of trailblazing the new.
That’s what troubles me about the lack of urgency in too many 20somethings.
Oops! Meant to preface the above comments with:
Only have a moment here, so allow me to be choosier than both of your comments deserve. These are my impressions from direct interactions with 20somethings, not specifically focused on your points (for that, I apologize).
By commenting on this one point I am not meaning to imply my (or any other) generation is perfect or didn’t have similar (or worse) traits at that age. Here’s the Achilles Heel of this generation IMHO:
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