Al Franken To Vindicate Zeigler And Zogby?

Even I, someone who continually fights to rise above my own inherent cynical vortexes, could not have believed that this was possible. I was even holding out a faint hope that John Zogby's scientific polling was a statistical aberration--that people leaving the voting booths could not identify Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, or even draw a contemporary relational arc to William Ayers--even when presented with the names beforehand. But they could instantly tell you by name, which candidate wore a $150,000 dress, has a pregnant teenage daughter, and got herself kicked off of Team Feminism by allowing her downs baby to take up space on the Terra Firma.

Nope. I wanted to disbelieve the notion that our country is so historically illiterate. I really did.

I was also hoping there was a civic-minded disconnect between those that believe Al Franken borrows his comedic timing from some acerbic, Dionysian muse and those he believes to be his solid constituents. Well, apparently not.

For those not tuned into the balance of power struggle in Minnesota, it comes down to this. Republican Norm Coleman leads former Saturday Night Live alum Al Franken by 215 votes. The gap was much larger for Coleman, until ballots supposedly left unattended overnight in a poll-worker's car magically helped reduce this unjust chasm.

So now, the tally certified, a recount has ensued. Okay, that's natural, right? Right. It's not the recount or even the razor-thin margins in the ballot process that feed the monster I mentioned above. It's the Franken campaign's absolute assuredness that idiots and dullards will tip the balance for him. Take a look at who his attorney, Bill Starr, puts into these categories:

"People who voted for Coleman are more likely to have taken the SAT in their lifetime," he said. "They've filled in circles. Franken voters are probably not college-educated. They're new voters and immigrants. They've been brought in by groups like ACORN, from the inner cities. They're more likely to make mistakes. I've bounced this off of minority people, and they agree with me."

Put aside for a moment the sheer lunacy of this assessment for a moment, and just do a transposition for a moment. If Coleman's lawyer had made a statement like this, the Minnesota Supreme Court would declare the statement a rhetorical hate crime and hand Franken the vote by default.

Like I said, I wanted to see the sunny side. We'll see.